Bursting the Bubble

Sometime back in May, one of my co-workers and I got to talking. We had both decided that we weren’t coming back to the preschool next year and were trying to figure out what we wanted to do. Somehow we came up with the idea to start our own preschool.

The talk got more and more serious until the preschool idea took over nearly every waking moment.(and often invaded my sleep as well) My partner and I waffled back and forth, seeing each other nearly every day and talking to each other for hours. We planned, we schemed, we neglected our homes and families…we just felt the need to work like crazy to make our dream a reality. We weren’t sure if we could pull it off or not. It was very late in the year to take on such a huge endeavor.

This week, despite all of our angst and frustrations it finally looked like it was really going to happen. We had a name and business plan, a location and phone number, our equipment and a good start on our curriculum, a domain name and web-site started, head-way on our insurance and a plan of action for advertising. All we really needed to do was navigate city hall for business license/zoning and legally form a LLC. The last few weeks have been such a roller coaster of excitement and terror.

Then, last night my partner called and left a message saying that we had to talk. There was nothing unusual about this as it seems we are always talking about something. When I called her back, she told me that she didn’t think she was cut out to be a “partner” in a business. She said that it basically drove her nuts to give up any control. She told me that she felt really bad about pulling out and encouraged me to start the business on my own. Of course, I told her that it was her dream first and that she should just go ahead and do the business.

I don’t know what’s going to happen at this point. I don’t even know what I want to happen. I do know that it feels like when I was having an amicable “break-up” with someone that I’d been dating for a short, but very intense time. Some guy that I was so excited to be with, someone that I spent all of my time and energy on. Then, all too soon the honeymoon stage was over. Things got a little dicey and suddenly the relationship was over. I wasn’t ever sure if I should be relieved or just terribly sad.

I hope that’s not what this is. I will be very disappointed, but I can handle the loss of my dream. I would be really sad though, if I lost the budding friendship that was forming between my partner and I.

I’ve never been one of those people that stays friends with old boyfriends after we broke up. I just never wanted anything to do with them. I hope this is a completely different scenario. Even though my dream has most definitely been burst.

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7 Responses to Bursting the Bubble

  1. oddmix says:

    If she chooses not to persue it, will you carry on with your dream alone? Was your dream to own and run a day care, or was your dream to be in business with your new friend? Assuming the former,I would encourage you to do so. I think you will regret it if you do not.

    Also, it strikes me that this COULD be her way of pulling back from a scary commitment and saving face. Or she COULD be feeling forced into this course by someone else.

    Based on the tiny bit of third hand written info I’ve got, I immediately thought, “Her partner is going to pull out and take the ‘rights’ to the dream and still not go through with it. She is going to give away her dream for nothing. How sad.”

    In any event I would be surprised if your ex-partner makes any effort to continue as a friend. In fact, I would be suprised if she did not actively push you away. Generaly people who know they have intentionaly killed another’s dream cannot reconcile thier actions and motives with being a true friend. You used a perfect example with the end of a romance. Even if you tried to “just be friends” the guy would most likely pull back because of his guilty feelings about his own role in the break up.

    I am very sorry for you, and I honestly hope I am completely wrong about your ex-partner. Even if I am, I would still encourage you to persue your dream with all the passion you feel for it.

  2. Mom says:

    Hey, Wake up little girl. Why are you quiting? She’s the one that says “no more” ! Get your butt back on track!
    It’s your dream! So if you need another partner; find one. Do you really need another partner? How about an assistant? Get your head back up and carry one. So you hit another bump in the road, go over it, under it or whatever. Start dreaming again. Love you Mom

  3. Chelle says:

    Oh wow! What a situation to find yourself in. I love the analogy you used for the situation and I love OM’s advice at the top: ask yourself if your dream is owning the preschool or being the partner of someone doing so.

    Our thoughts are with you.

  4. Jay says:

    I’m really sorry that this happened. But, maybe she kinda “froze”. A lot of people, whether they are investing in a business or buying a car get cold feet at the last minute and suddenly wonder if they are doing the right thing.

    Maybe if you talked to her and get her to open up about what she is worried about it would help her. But, I would guess that she’s probably decided for whatever reason not to go through with it. But, by being understanding and being there for her you might be able to remain friends.

    And, at least you found out now, instead of the day of the grand opening that she has this tendency. This way you can be sure not be in a position of having to rely on her for something important in the future.

    As for your dream of opening a preschool, if that IS your dream, don’t let go of it. You are already well down the path to making it happen. If you can’t go on without a partner because of financial reasons, find another partner. Or look into the possibility of SBA loans or, better yet, grants. If there is a university near by it might have a Small Business Center and they have lots of resources that can get you into contact with different groups and organizations that can help.

  5. s@bd says:

    i love your mom’s advice – do what she says!!

  6. ashley says:

    Mother knows best! I agree, if it’s something you are excited and passionate about then go for it! We are all capable of so much more than we think.

    As for the friendship, you are the one that was let down but she is the one who is embarrassed. I’m sure you can continue to grow the friendship but you probably need to be the instigator for a little while until she sees that you don’t hate her for backing out.

    That’s my two cents.

  7. Oh wow…thanks for all your support guys. I haven’t quite decided what I think about all this right now. All I know, is that I’m REALLY missing Shaun right about now…