Bursting the Bubble

Sometime back in May, one of my co-workers and I got to talking. We had both decided that we weren’t coming back to the preschool next year and were trying to figure out what we wanted to do. Somehow we came up with the idea to start our own preschool.

The talk got more and more serious until the preschool idea took over nearly every waking moment.(and often invaded my sleep as well) My partner and I waffled back and forth, seeing each other nearly every day and talking to each other for hours. We planned, we schemed, we neglected our homes and families…we just felt the need to work like crazy to make our dream a reality. We weren’t sure if we could pull it off or not. It was very late in the year to take on such a huge endeavor.

This week, despite all of our angst and frustrations it finally looked like it was really going to happen. We had a name and business plan, a location and phone number, our equipment and a good start on our curriculum, a domain name and web-site started, head-way on our insurance and a plan of action for advertising. All we really needed to do was navigate city hall for business license/zoning and legally form a LLC. The last few weeks have been such a roller coaster of excitement and terror.

Then, last night my partner called and left a message saying that we had to talk. There was nothing unusual about this as it seems we are always talking about something. When I called her back, she told me that she didn’t think she was cut out to be a “partner” in a business. She said that it basically drove her nuts to give up any control. She told me that she felt really bad about pulling out and encouraged me to start the business on my own. Of course, I told her that it was her dream first and that she should just go ahead and do the business.

I don’t know what’s going to happen at this point. I don’t even know what I want to happen. I do know that it feels like when I was having an amicable “break-up” with someone that I’d been dating for a short, but very intense time. Some guy that I was so excited to be with, someone that I spent all of my time and energy on. Then, all too soon the honeymoon stage was over. Things got a little dicey and suddenly the relationship was over. I wasn’t ever sure if I should be relieved or just terribly sad.

I hope that’s not what this is. I will be very disappointed, but I can handle the loss of my dream. I would be really sad though, if I lost the budding friendship that was forming between my partner and I.

I’ve never been one of those people that stays friends with old boyfriends after we broke up. I just never wanted anything to do with them. I hope this is a completely different scenario. Even though my dream has most definitely been burst.

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