My Big Toe

For reasons unknown to me, my dad has been wanting me to tell this story.  Personally, I think that there are some stories that really should be allowed to die a peaceful death, however…

Eons ago, when I still lived at home,  one of my best friends had a phobia about driving.  Ericka had been in a car accident shortly after she had gotten her drivers license, and just couldn’t bring herself to sit behind the wheel of a car again.  So it fell to me to haul us all over the place.  It wasn’t a big deal as I really enjoyed driving.  (Interestingly enough, I still seem to be playing chauffeur on a daily basis) The only thing about this arrangement was that when I arrived to pick her up, she was very seldom ready to go.  Needless to say, it didn’t take too many times of impatiently watching her put on her make-up that I started to show up later and later.

One day, Ericka called me up to see why I was over an hour late getting to her place.  I hadn’t been paying attention to the time and was more than a little embarrassed.  My mom was more than willing to make excuses for me though.  She told Ericka that I should be along shortly as the firemen were just leaving.  Horrified that something awful had happened, my friend pressed for details.  My mother was quite happy to give them to her. 

Mom explained to my friend that it started out simply enough.  I had been taking a bubble bath when, for no reason at all, I had stuck my big toe in the faucet.  When I was ready to pull it back out, it remained stuck in place.  I had struggled to remove my toe, but finally gave up and started hollering for my mom to come help me. 

My mother then told about how she had to pick the lock before she could get into the bathroom.  She then tugged on my toe with all her might before realizing that the more we pulled the more swollen (and firmly stuck) my toe was becoming.  In desperation, my mom called the fire department. 

Ericka listened in amazement as Mom described the muscular firemen dismantling the facet while I huddled, clasping a towel to myself, ready to just be swallowed into the earth from humiliation.  Mom told her that the fireman had just managed to release me without laughing too obviously right before Ericka had called.  I was still hiding in my room, but would most likely be along to pick her up before too long.   

I just shook my head at my mother and sighed as I left to go pick up Ericka.  This was before I remembered that Ericka had an even bigger mouth than my mom did.  Soon everyone we worked with knew the entire story. 

I don’t think I would have minded it so much…except for the fact that my mother had made the entire story up on a whim.  And people want to know where I get my imagination from…

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20 Responses to My Big Toe

  1. Anonymous says:

    Your Dad was right; this story SHOULD be told. Too funny, Susan! Please don’t let it die a peaceful death!

    I’m checking in from Colorado, back soon!

  2. Anonymous says:

    oops, but did Erika ask to see you poor bruised toe??

  3. Jay says:

    That’s hilarious. You’re mother is pretty funny.

  4. Peggy says:

    I’ve TRIED but my toe won’t fit into our bath taps!

  5. Michelle says:

    Wow — your mom is GOOOOOD. That’s a totally great on-the-spot story.

  6. Oh, what a hoot!!! Your mom sounds like a real character!!

  7. Barb says:

    funniest thing I have heard in a while…and now we know where you get it from! Great blog

  8. Betty says:

    I’ll bet that cured you of being late.

  9. mrs darling says:

    Oh my goodness, she made it up? What a fun mother!

  10. J-Funk says:

    Wow, your mom is a creative genius! I need more time than that to come up with such an imaginative story.

    Don’t you hate that friend that’s never ready to go when you arrive to chauffeur them around? I wonder if we all had a high school friend like that.

  11. Astreil says:

    This story is not your Mom’s. I believe it was actually an old I Love Lucy episode. Don’t quote me, though. Too funny!

  12. Cheryl says:

    Kudos to your Mom. Greatr story! I’m sure that’s happened to someone out there. When I was 4 I stuck a plastic lipstick up my nose. Thank goodness I wasn’t older!

  13. Stephanie says:

    Too funny. I can’t wait to tell those kinds of stories to Kyrin’s friends. What fun is it having kids if you can’t mess with them a little? I also tagged you with a 7 random things meme. You can see the rules on my blog. it’s kinda fun..but don’t feel obligated ;o)

  14. Susan says:

    Lynne~Come to think of it, she never did. But then again, I’m sure she still believes that I was making up the part that Mom made up the story!

    Jay~ she has her moments!

    Peggy~ You actually tried that?? LOL So…was that before or after reading this?

    Michelle~it was interesting growing up with her!

    Songbird~she is, she is… I get the feeling that the two of you would get along just fine.

    Barb~ Just what are you saying anyways??? 😉

    Mrs. D~Yup, she made the entire thing up.

    J-Funk~ I have tendencies to run behind, but never, EVER to that extent. Ugh.

    Hi Astreil~Well…Lucy was one of my mom’s best friends in high school, so it’s hard to say who stole it from who…

    Cheryl~ That’s too funny! I hope it came out easily. The girls were into sticking stuff in their noses as well. KT did dried beans and Mimi used the beads from a necklace that broke…I had to seek medical help for her…

    Stephanie~what are you waiting for? I’ve been messing with the girls’ friends for some time now…it’s always interesting when they bring a new one home. They are never quite sure what to make of me!

  15. mjd says:

    Oh Susan, that is the funniest story, WOW what a mom.

  16. photowannabe says:

    Hilarious story. Your Mom is one of a kind. You do come by your sense of humor honestly.

  17. pastorrick says:

    YOUR Mother does seem to be a bit on the strange side. I wonder if you have thought about taking YOUR mother to a shrink?

  18. TaunaLen says:

    I got a great laugh out of this story, and linked it today. Thanks for writing it!


  19. Notwise says:

    This is sooo funny!!!

  20. melody says:

    I thought you really did this and I was identifying because…I really did do this. Only my dad cut me free which was humiliating enough.

    Very funny that your mom thought this up. 🙂

    I think this is my first visit here…”hi”.

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