Alone

Last night I woke up from a horrible nightmare.  I had dreamt that Shaun had been off-roading and had lost control of the Big Orange Jeep.  I watched as he rolled over and over and then perished in a blaze of glory.  I awoke with tears streaming down my face and reached over to Shaun’s side of the bed to comfort myself.  

As he licked the side of my face, I realized that I was actually hugging our dog Shelly.  Then I remembered that I was all alone.  Although technically, finding a kid, two dogs and at least three cats in your bed isn’t really alone.  Still, the one warm body that I wanted, no that I needed in my bed, wasn’t there.   

I grew up in a Navy family.  It seemed as though my dad was overseas more then he was home.  Because of this, I learned that as a woman, you need to be self-reliant.  If something needs doing, an emergency occurs, the trash needs to be taken out…anything, you need to be able to do it yourself.  As a result of watching my mom just deal with things, I am a fiercely independent woman.  I can do anything I set my mind to.  (OK, maybe I can’t clean off the roof, but I can hire someone to do it for me) 

Part of that strength is what makes Shaun and I work so well as a team.   As Andrea said yesterday “we’re pillars, working together to hold up our world, but independent of one another”.   She phrased this so well, because that’s exactly how we are.  We have been together for nearly twenty years now and our lives are interwoven.  It has become second nature to share each and every moment with each other. (No matter how mundane it may be).

This Walkabout is a good thing for Shaun.  He is having a wonderful time, just being alone, thinking and recharging his batteries.  Yet, still…I miss him.  I didn’t really want to be alone for this long.

In another day or two, or whenever he is done exploring, Shaun will come home.  Thank goodness we live in the era of cell phones and computers so we can stay in contact and so that I can hear the sound of his voice.

In the meantime, I’ll have a herd of critters invade my bed so I don’t have to sleep alone….

EDIT TO ADD:  Shaun came home this afternoon!!!  I’m not sure where he’s planning on sleeping as the critters have already staked out his spot!

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Bit O Life

Shaun has put some of his favorite Walkabout photos on his website.  Go see them!

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