Last night I woke up from a horrible nightmare.  I had dreamt that Shaun had been off-roading and had lost control of the Big Orange Jeep.  I watched as he rolled over and over and then perished in a blaze of glory.  I awoke with tears streaming down my face and reached over to Shaun’s side of the bed to comfort myself.  

As he licked the side of my face, I realized that I was actually hugging our dog Shelly.  Then I remembered that I was all alone.  Although technically, finding a kid, two dogs and at least three cats in your bed isn’t really alone.  Still, the one warm body that I wanted, no that I needed in my bed, wasn’t there.   

I grew up in a Navy family.  It seemed as though my dad was overseas more then he was home.  Because of this, I learned that as a woman, you need to be self-reliant.  If something needs doing, an emergency occurs, the trash needs to be taken out…anything, you need to be able to do it yourself.  As a result of watching my mom just deal with things, I am a fiercely independent woman.  I can do anything I set my mind to.  (OK, maybe I can’t clean off the roof, but I can hire someone to do it for me) 

Part of that strength is what makes Shaun and I work so well as a team.   As Andrea said yesterday “we’re pillars, working together to hold up our world, but independent of one another”.   She phrased this so well, because that’s exactly how we are.  We have been together for nearly twenty years now and our lives are interwoven.  It has become second nature to share each and every moment with each other. (No matter how mundane it may be).

This Walkabout is a good thing for Shaun.  He is having a wonderful time, just being alone, thinking and recharging his batteries.  Yet, still…I miss him.  I didn’t really want to be alone for this long.

In another day or two, or whenever he is done exploring, Shaun will come home.  Thank goodness we live in the era of cell phones and computers so we can stay in contact and so that I can hear the sound of his voice.

In the meantime, I’ll have a herd of critters invade my bed so I don’t have to sleep alone….

EDIT TO ADD:  Shaun came home this afternoon!!!  I’m not sure where he’s planning on sleeping as the critters have already staked out his spot!


Bit O Life

Shaun has put some of his favorite Walkabout photos on his website.  Go see them!

This entry was posted in Adventures, Critters, Family, It's all about me!, Love and Marriage, That Man O' Mine. Bookmark the permalink.

0 Responses to Alone

  1. Lisa's Chaos says:

    I’m so sorry for that bad dream at a bad time, been there. 🙁 I like that phrase about pliers. I too am pretty independant. I grew up with a trucker dad so mom did much too. And critters are great company although they don’t replace.

  2. Kell says:

    I’m sorry you had a nightmare like that. At least you had some company when you needed it, even if it wasn’t the company you really needed.

    Thanks for the link to the photos, too. They’re awesome. I love the photo of the school house.

  3. Lynne says:

    I am also a very independant person, but on the flip side I don’t like it when Rick is away on business. It just doesn’t feel right. Like a missing spoke from a wheel.

    Sweet dreams, Susan, tonight!

  4. PrEtTY iN tHE CiTY says:

    I am so sorry for your nightmare, Susan.

    From the pictures, you know he is fine. I hope you will have sweet dream tonight.

  5. Andrea says:

    So glad you enjoyed the metaphor 😉

  6. i like the idea of a walkabout (great photos btw)…i have never gone for very long, but i have occasionally jumped in the van & took off – the freedom of that time magnifies how much i love my family & homecoming is a sweet thing!

    andrea’s metaphor is terrific!

  7. Pamela says:

    I’m going to try and get up to there this winter — both to leavenworth and to coulee — just for a weekend trip

  8. Cheryl says:

    You are so fortunate to have a good marriage. You have the best of both worlds.

    I just looked at every picture on Shaun’s website. I loved them!

  9. Cazzie says:

    I hate those vivid dreams, makes ya have a bad start to the day hey.

  10. Jocelyn says:

    What a lovely articulation of your relationship and how healthy it is.

    And honey, a healthy relationship is rare.

  11. Keshi says:

    Such dreams freak me out to the core…cos most of MY dreams come true 🙁

    Im glad u 2 hv a great r’ship. And thats rare.


  12. Bad dreams are horrible, aren’t they?

    I love the pillar analogy. That is really something to aspire to.

  13. Mojokat says:

    I really hate those kind of dreams, they shake me up pretty badly, sometimes for a couple days. I’m glad your hunny is ok, though!

    Thanks for being an inspiration to us all! Great relationships like yours are rare! Congrats!

  14. Dawn says:

    My hubby left today for a couple days for a business trip. We currently have 2 dogs and 3 cats in the house, but I think I will only have one dog and 2 cats sleeping with me as Howard goes out at night to catch rodents, and the other dog is a guest and probably won’t assume he can sleep on our bed.

    I too, have found in life that sometime I just have to get things done. Today I took the kids out and we shifted the chicken coup using metal bars and brute strength.

    I laughed at your second paragraph and read it to the kids. Great post.

  15. awriterinthedesert says:

    Washington looks so beautiful, and those photos are very cool. Thank Shaun for posting them!

  16. Gracey says:

    HI!! It’s been too long since I’ve come to see you! Glad your hubby is home; mine leaves in about six weeks and i’ll be sleeping alone for a very long 15 months!! Not looking forward to it so I totally understand the lonliness and you understand the whole military thing! 🙂

  17. JennieBoo says:

    Dreams can be so revealing.

    So, what does this one say about you? 🙂

  18. Frigga says:

    Hmmm… You dad was probably stationed at 32nd – probably right along side my step dad (I’m guessing from the comment you left me, of course the years could be off.)

    BTW – I really like your blog – it reads well and is very easy on my eyes! 🙂

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