The Booger Robe

Many years ago, one of my girlfriends and I went shopping on Black Friday.  This was back when people were still polite (if a little crazy) and we had the best time hunting for treasures together.  At one of the stores we came across some robes for such a ridiculously cheap price that we were each forced to get one for our husbands. Little did I know what a horrible mistake this would turn out to be. 

Much to my surprise, Shaun really liked his new robe.  My girlfriend’s husband sensibly gave up his robe when it was worn. (which really didn’t take long for such a cheap thing)  But not Shaun.  He  had fallen in love with the soft, fluffy fleece and took to wearing it constantly. 

I have to admit that I did my best to make that horrible thing disappear as the years had not been kind to Shaun’s robe. It looked and felt like something  that even a homeless lumberjack would shy away from.  


At first I merely tried to replace it with all sort of much better robes, but nothing seemed to work.  So I tried to get rid of it.  Among other things, I attempted to leave it at the laundromat, to get a Mama cat to give birth on it, and to persuade some kid to haul it off somewhere…anywhere.  I did my best to  convince my Beloved that there simply wasn’t room for his precious robe to accompany us on our move here to Washington.  Somehow…he managed to dig it out of the garbage and find a spot for it. 

I finally accepted the fact that I was going to see that horrid robe every night and every morning for the rest of my life.  That was before Shaun’s allergies set in.   I refuse to go into details, but those rough months of sneezing and dripping noses that plague allergy sufferers everywhere are how the Booger Robe got it’s name.  You can go ahead and use your imagination while I just continue to block those images out of my head.  (In case you haven’t figured it out,  I have major mucus issues.)

If there was ever a reason for me to leave this man, the Booger Robe would have been it.  I don’t think there could be a judge or a jury in the world that would have found me guilty of whatever crime I could have committed against him and that robe.  Lucky for Shaun, I am not a weak woman.

Last Christmas, while I was shopping for something completely different, I happened to glance across the room and spied a rack of soft, fleece robes.  I wanted to bury myself in them because they felt so good.  Crossing my fingers, I bought one to give Shaun as a gift.  To my joy, he loved it! Yay!

I hereby vow that I will never again impulsively buy something for someone just because it’s cheap and I’m desperate.  Some things just have to be learned the hard way…

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0 Responses to The Booger Robe

  1. Lynne says:

    Is he modeling the BOOGER robe in this pic, or is this his new robe? Maybe the old robe can become a dog bed or a nest for those other types of critters that live in your home??

  2. Tink says:

    Hoop has this horrible orange shirt that I keep trying to make vanish. I even made a poll about what I should do with it long long ago. But the damn thing keeps finding its way back to the drawer! Men shouldn’t be allowed to decide what clothes to keep, period. 😉

  3. Jay says:

    I was doing fine until you said “Booger Robe.” It might have been a little early for that. 😉

  4. Susan says:

    Lynne~This is the OLD Booger Robe. This photo was taken waaay back in 2003, so it wasn’t even close to it’s rattiest. I’m pretty sure all of our critters would turn their noses up at that old robe.

    Tink~I remember that. I’m telling you, nip this in the bud now or in twenty years you’ll still be trying to make it vanish.

    Jay~Just be thankful you didn’t have to live with it. Oh…I just had a brillant idea. Send me your snail addy because I’ve got a lovely gift for you!

  5. Wendy says:

    Ratty bathrobe stories. I’m hip. 🙂

  6. Mrs. G. says:

    I am having similar problems with a ratty ass pair of birkenstocks my husband wears every day of his life…with socks. Pray for me.

  7. Karina says:

    Eww…that’s it, that’s all I have to say today…Ewww.

  8. Kell says:

    I have a Victoria’s Secret robe that Al got me for Christmas early in our marriage, and I love it. It’s torn and worn, but I always pick it to wear rather than the terry cloth and the silk he’s bought me since. I love that robe.

  9. Betty says:

    I had a cotton gown and robe set that I loved. The kids kept trying to get me to get rid of it, when it got really ratty. I finally did, but never have found anything that comfortable since. sigh

  10. tommiea says:

    That is so funny. My husband has a pair of leather slippers from Land’s End that we got well over 10 years ago. They don’t carry them anymore either. Men get so attached to things like that.

  11. Hootin' Anni says:

    I’m back…just wanted you to know there is something waiting for you on my Wednesday blog!!

  12. Kristi says:

    My hubby had a similar robe. My mom got me a PINK chenille robe for Christmas one year and my husband LOVED it. After he ripped it a few times, I finally had to take it away from him. He’s now wearing my yellow robe. Maybe Winnie the Pooh would stop him?

    Susan – thanks for stopping by my blog. I love that video!

  13. Jocelyn says:

    I anxiously await the nickname of the new robe.

    The Puke Robe, perhaps?

  14. Keshi says:

    lol Susan!


  15. TACE says:

    I am thinking that when you try and entice a mama cat to give birth on an article of clothing then you are seriously committed to being rid of said article of clothing. I admire your genius and tenacity.
    Also…am I crazy or is the robe sort of nice looking? Perhaps in person it has qualities of nasty and evilness that can not be conveyed through a mere photo..I shall trust your instincts on this and assume the booger robe Truly was not worthy of existence.

  16. connie says:

    Hey Susan- bout that Burda coat you commented on- I am awaiting further progress til the daughter it is destined for comes home from University – that is next week so I will work on it then – thus far I really like the way it goes together!

  17. davidbdale says:

    Maybe it’s more common than I thought to imagine appearing before a judge in marriage court. We have several favorite stories at home that all end with, “. . . and that, Your Honor, is why I deserve all the marital assets.”

  18. Is that covered under the part of the marriage vows that goes, “in times of clear sinuses and in times of congestion?”

  19. Yea, the name Booger Robe pretty much says it all. The visual is priceless.

  20. Dorky Dad says:

    HA! You said booger.

    I haven’t work a robe in years. Can’t see the point.

  21. Peggy says:

    Ok, now how do I get my husband to loosen his grip on all his old and hole filled rock t-shirts from the 70’s. They don’t fit him, the bands were crap and they have holes!!!

  22. Stephanie says:

    TAG! You’re it! I tagged you for a little meme. Rules etc. are over on my blog 🙂 Don’t hate me please!!!!

  23. Frances says:

    My husband had a plaid winter jacket that was so worn he looked like a homeless person in it.
    Finally I told him I wouldn’t be seen with him if he wore it again, and he got rid of it.

  24. Cheryl says:

    Great post Susan, especially the advice.

  25. There is nothing that says I love you more than a booger robe – However, it has been my experience to purchase or obtain most of my evening apparel in the hunting department of Walmart or Bass Pro shop. Here you can find a multitude of clothing that says camoflauge. Whether it be spring in the rockies or the hot summer in the deep south, wearing camos gives one the option of never washing clothing again….
    Aromatic sprays sold separately….

  26. Jenster says:

    Hey. I work with 2-year-olds. I have no problems imagining what booger robe may have looked like. I’ve come home with shoulders and sleeves looking rather icky enough to make me gag.

  27. Ann says:

    ah yes. You’re describing my hubby except it’s not a robe, it’s some tired old Adiddas shorts. That I must burn!

  28. Pamela says:

    I bet he had a “blankie” as a kid, too.
    He sure appears happy wearing it!!

  29. snpnmnmi says:

    Tell me again why I don’t come by here more often? You never fail to send me to the floor in convulsive fits of laughter. Love the pic out your front door… and you probably don’t want to come for a visit with me, as mucus seems to be my middle name. *sorry* I really am a great conversationalist, though, and I think you could look past the snot. LOL
    Tammy * aka: allergy woman” :):):)

  30. Shannon says:

    Laughing hysterically! Thanks

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