Apparently…there is this little known blog rule that says you can’t blog once or twice a month (if that) for months on end, and then all of a sudden decide you are going to start writing a little more frequently. When you do that, your blog, which of course, has become a bit complacent and thinks it is on permanent vacation in the Bahamas, will summon the hunky Cabana Boy for several more Foo Foo drinks and get happily soused.
Nearly everyone knows the signs of inebriation. Slow, slurred words, clumsiness and the inability to walk in a straight line, not to mention passing out with no warning. If one didn’t know that her underage blog had been partying it up a bit, she might think her blog was seriously ill. I was terrified for my poor little blog and promptly called 911. I was shocked when they laughed at me and told me to hang up and quit tying up the emergency lines.
Next, I turned to Shaun (The man I married, who just happens to be a brilliant computer programmer. I constantly remind him about the “in sickness and health” part of our vows because I desperately want him to be my in-house computer doctor,) He claimed he didn’t know nuthin’ about fixin’ no blogs. (Which I don’t believe for a second, but we aren’t going to get into that. I just hope he’s happy sleeping on the couch.) So naturally I called in the very best medical help I could find.
You remember my Aunt Edie? She’s the one that came out to visit last summer and despite all the wonderful things to see and do in Seattle, all she wanted was see was the Gum Wall and to dance in front of Microsoft.
Now Aunt Edie may look the part of a beloved aunt content to bake cookies and pet her multiple cats, but there’s much more to her then that. (She tends to burn everything, and has a pet mouse that lives behind her refrigerator, leaving cats out of the picture as well.) This self-proclaimed “aging hippie”, has a mind like a steel trap. When I
whined causally mentioned to her that I couldn’t get into my blog, she sprung into action.
Before I knew it, she had um…well…I really couldn’t tell you what she did. I’m sure that the detailed, fifty-page emails she sent me where dumbed down so that even a child could understand what she was saying, but I still didn’t understand. I merely agreed with everything she wanted to do. Finally, she had done all she could and told me that I needed more serious help than she could provide. She referred me to a specialist, my blog host.
It took me several hours, but I finally managed to figure out where to put my login and password (We won’t even talk about how long it took me to find the “safe place” I had stored them at!) It really shouldn’t have been that difficult, it’s just that I’m just a teensy bit inept at these high-end techie things. Within five minutes I had a return email from the host letting me know that what my blog needed was not emergency surgery, but rather an immediate intervention.
After a brief stint in rehab, my blog seemed to be back to it’s former pre-vacation self. I can easily get into the dashboard, and it no longer takes what seems like hours for it to load. I’m just hoping that it doesn’t have a relapse. what I need to do is to figure out a way to keep the blog away from that hunky Cabana Boy. (I understand that my blog was a very good tipper)
Hmmmm….maybe I should send him off to visit Aunt Edie. She would enjoy that. Besides, she definitely deserves a fun Foo Foo Drink….